3 degres outside and...

I'm sitting here... Outside in the cold... With my starnucks csramel machiato with extra shot de cafe and cream...
Smoking my tenth cigarette of the day... Looking for the words to express myself...
Where are you words when i most need you??
This page has become the only place i can drop a few lines without having people judging or thinking i'm too weird lately...
I feel like i want to fly but i cannot find my wings...
I'm stuck here... Wondering too much, thinking too much... Lost... Observing... Trying to understand the finality of all this...
Pissed off... It seems like it's a bad timing for everyone...
Sometimes you think you finally saw the light but it appears to be an illusion...
Oh God help me through this... You know me well... You know my deepest wishes... What's in my heart...
Please make my dreams come true...
I have a golden heart... I know that... It just hurts so times too much... You know...
I wanna be surrounded by persons who are really true to me...
I don't like the excuses... I've been given quite too many...
3 degrees outside or maybe less by now...
I can hardly feel my hands and my fingers barely move...
It's probably time for me to hang out now... Looking for my words for the next note... It'll be about fears... Those that pull us down...
See you soon then...