Woken up to chat...

One of my friends often remembers me after a long night partying with his friends...when they all go home he sms me to see if i'm online or if i connect...each sms is some kinf of surprise unexpected and it feels good...and no matter how many hours i've slept or if i'm working the next day or not, i'd just wake up for him...and we could talk for hours...sometimes even on the phone...

Being a friend is being there for a friend whenever that person is in need of talking and i'm that kind of friend...i'm there...whenever i'm asked to...and even if i'm not asked to...

Today, i've been surprised again...longing for his news for four days...i was there once again...the good thing is that today i wasn't working...and when at 8 am he was gonna sleep, i just couldn't go back to sleep, eventhoug i wasn't working...

And what's so special about this friendship? well it's a person that i understand and who also understands me, at least most of the times, but it's also a person i have never actually really seen...i've seen photos, but we never met...we're not even in the same country!!

Friendship is beyond borders...i think it's really nice to get to know new people...just like penfriends, and exchange ideas and point of views, talk about life, share the worries....eventhough the friendship is just virtual...

Could it be more than friendship, could the relationship change into something else, well only time could tell us about that, right...but for today, i think it's just not that important...

I know it may seem ackward and pathetic too...but i have a very intense virtual life...if i'm not working, then i'm online...

Of course, i'd like to be able to just go out, have coffee with friends and all...but with the life i have here, the limitations, the friend's timetables which are often busy too...i found internet an only way out to the routine of my life...

And when i get bored, then i'd just start watching a new serial or season of an old serial on dvd...and waste my time that way...i can't disconnect...i can't stop...and right now i feel like i have to go away, fly, meet real people...i need to travel again...i can't wait to hit the road again...cos my way out has become routine too with days...and i just don't know what to do anymore...

i know it's not always easy to understand me, understand my life, my positions...even for me...but well, i just try to think positive no matter what...

the friend i talked to today...well we almost argued for the first time because he said that i should do something about my life...he just doesn't have all the clues to understand why it's easier said than done in my concern...

i've almost had a first real conversation with my mom today, at least i made it clear that if i ever thought of changing jobs, i'll be looking for an international company and i'd move abroad to make my professional life...and i felt that for the first time, she wouldn't say no...at least i can decide and my professional choices on my own...it's good...it feels good, eventhough i have never really doubted about that...i just don't want to get into conflicts...and i have my reasons my close friends know...i wish i could just live my life the way i want and be totally me all the time...why is that so hard...for me?