Decoding....

Good morning all of you...:-)

Hope you all had a happy Aid...i've received this and i thought of sharing it with you before going to work...it's really great...

Smile, laugh and have a great day!!

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish................................49.
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking..................Moooo.
Beautiful.............................Pathological liar..
Emotionally Secure..............On medication.
Feminist..............................Fat.
Free Spirit..........................Junkie.
Friendship first...................Former Slut.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned....................No B..J.'s
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional........................Bitch.
Voluptuous..........................Very fat.
Large frame...................... ...Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate................Stalker.


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes..........................No
No............................Yes
Maybe.......................No

We need...................I want
I am sorry................You'll be sorry

We need to talk..........You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead...........You better not

Do what you want..........You'll pay for this later
I am not upset...............Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight...Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry................................I am hungry
I am sleepy..............................I am sleepy
I am tired.................................I am tired
Nice dress...............................Nice cleavage!
I love you...................................Let's have sex now
I am bored.................................Do you want to have sex ?
May I have this dance?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..........I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?..I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit.........I'm gay.