Depressed...

It's been a while since i last published something on my blog...
There's been so much going on an i have so much in my mind and so many things to say but at the no words can come out...
A lot of changes, a lot of family pressure, a lot of work...i just can't take it anymore...and i feel so lost and lonely!!

I'm gonna be staying longer in Spain for my work...Which is a big challenge to me, not because i'd have to stay here because living here is quite nice and i got used to it, but because i'm gonna be learning new things and dealing with new things at work...
I'm happy about that because i met a lot of great people here and the most important thing is that i'm gonna be living on my own still and i can be me totally, completely...my freedom...but at the same time, i just wonder if i have to be really happy about it...i just can't figure out exactely what would be make me totally happy...
This news wasn't really well taken by father...and that's one of the big reason of my depression...My parents can't understand me and i guess they never will...they'll never know who i really am, they'll never understand what i really want and they just don't seem to be happy for me when i'm happy with what i have...i'm a grown up and they just don't seem to realize it...they still treat me as if i were a little girl!!
Lately they have discovered that i was smoking and they didn't like it at all...it was like the end of the world to them...their "perfect" daughter just didn't seem to be perfect anymore because she was smoking...They have put me on a pedestal and they don't want to get me out of it...but i didn't ask them to do so...

I studied, I'm working, i'm travelling...i totally taking care of myself and my future is in my hands, just try to make it as good as possible...

Ain't married, ain't engaged...: that's a very sensitive subject...

Ain't even have a boyfriend for the moment (boys boys boys...a "matter" i just don't seem to understand!!)... : hope to figure something out for that soon...

I just hope this depression disappears soon...I'm in Spain, i'm a party girl...this is the ideal place to just feel better, right?

Independant and strong...i have to climb back the hill of faith and hope again!!...i guess i seem less depressed now than at the beggining of my text... i just started writing it a week ago...and meanwhile, i went to Motril near Granada, on the beach where i just relax all week-end with my friend and her family...then i went quickly back to Tunisia for week-end and here i am again...:-)...Life is definitely full of ups and downs...and it's good to be able to talk about that!